I loved seeing him because he was my entire world and I wanted to tell him everything.
I hated seeing him, because I didn’t know what to say to him, and how in God’s name would I ever be able to tell him anything?
“Hey.” I sketched a wave, the card obvious in my hand and, embarrassed, I shoved it deep into my pocket, hoping he didn’t notice.
“Are you adding a wish?” he asked, then he stalked over to me, and I swear I was going to die on the spot. “I should do that as well.” He lifted the lid to the sheltered card box, and picked up a pen, which he proceeded to tap on the surface. “I’ll have to owe the tree a dollar. I’ll bring it back later.” He glanced up at the tree as if he was apologizing to the skeleton of branches. “I don’t know what to wish for.” He side-eyed me. “What are you wishing for?”
Oh god, my tongue was a hundred times too big for my mouth. I couldn’t tell him all my secrets; I wouldn’t have known where to start. I let out what sounded like a squeak, and same as my brothers, he didn’t pause to let me answer, because he knew as well as they did that I didn’t talk much, that I was shy.
He was a professional hockey player, a star in his own right, twenty-one and with the world at his feet. I’d loved him forever, and I hated that I didn’t see much of him. Just man up and say it. I love you, Kai. Can you kiss me?